Inventing your own life 

Permission to make marks, to invent words and don’t take yourself to seriously. This morning remembering a private tudor who taught  me to sound out words at age 16.

Mary Ellen Loveless saved my life more then once. As we sat under a lamp on her dark,  cold front porch;  her  playing children in the other room,  she asked me ” I bet you think this English language that we speak is primitive and silly. ”

I wondered how she knew what I was thinking, trust was formed.

I describe Mary Ellen in my life as the first woman who saw me. I knew somehow, I had a brain,   I was intelligent with great common sense,  I could figure things out so much quicker than a lot of other people even adults. Yet  I was being told I was stupid , used as an example in classes how not to spell. On many occasions, singled out and removed from language classes and sent to “remedial reading ” an old trailer next to some class rooms , a place that the other children cruelty called the retard room.

I’m not telling you this to make you feel sorry or to pity children with disabilities. The mind is an amazing place. The brain however dysfunctional, according  to society could be advanced in so many other ways that we know nothing about.  The mind or brain of a dyslexic child is an amazing place,  it should be elevated and celebrated.  Many famous dyslexic minds show us that we know so little about this minimal brain dysfunction, and yet it is still uncomfortable to mention that you have dyslexia,  it is still seen as a disability. This wonderful Ted special is something I wanted to share;  if you have a little time ,do you watch this video it’s so worth it.  I enjoyed it so much and made me giggle. So enjoy make up some words, feel free,   if you were the first person to crest or spell the word,  how do you know if it’s correct ?

Rules , grammar and spelling is so so important. Learn as much as you can but never let the norms or or restrictions hold you back . Creatives is just as important and that has no  rules. You have to risk being made fun of,  to be humiliated,  if you want to create.
Thanks for visiting,


Colour My World UK

Light is so so important, inside and out.

With out the light we would not exist.

Yet every morning we expect the sun to slowly rise and light our way. 

At one of the darkest times in my life,  I was blessed or lucky to be able to go the the desert to heal. 

Sitting in the Sonoran Desert for a few years cracked me right open. 

Grateful for that today as I see the world so differently but I will never take light for granted again. 

Sometimes having to much or to little of something can give you a different perspective.

In the U.K. now I  miss the sun and the long, cold,  dark winters have me craving light.  As the days draw out it had me thinking and creating.

Color My World UK 

Created on my iPad using Graphics app – Autodeak such fun enjoy. 

Thanks for visiting,

Suzanne M Clements  


Removing the splinters

My father passed away on the winter solstice only a week ago.

My therapist explained it to me once while doing a session at EMDR for adult and childhood PTSD

“We’re just removing splinters Suzanne ”

I found this very very helpful. 

It’s kind of hard to explain…

I loved my parents very much.

 I lost my mom 16 years ago and my dad only a week ago, it’s been incredibly painful, but after working so hard to resolve my complicated passed, I no longer need to sit in silence.

 I’m at peace that I don’t have to pretend any more. 

I want to live an Authentic life and maybe help others in some small way.

I found this article which explain it much better than I ever could. 

I love my parents very much I tried to take the good and leave the bad behind but the strange feelings and grief are very difficult to deal with on a daily basis.

It not ok!  

“For adult survivors, the losses that accompany child maltreatment are cloaked in silence, lost in the shrouds of history, and largely unrecognized,” Bloom states. “But these ‘little deaths’ linger as unremoved splinters in the survivor’s psyche for decades.” (Dr. Bloom)

Great blog link below 

The Invisible scares
Dad, thanks for teaching me how to survive & how to forgive ….

My visit with Russ June 3 2016  New York

Dad what do I do when you die? 

In his Zen Tradition he told me to 

He said “Clear your mind ” 

“think of nothing ”

Thanks for visiting Suzanne 

After the storm by Suzanne M. Clements 1985 acrylics